It is reported bullying affects one in five people (National Centre for Educational Statistics, 2019); though the number is likely much higher due to many who experienced bullying may stay silent due to fear and shame. While we may think we’ve moved on, the effects linger in ways we don’t always recognize. Bullying can leave emotional scars that show up in unexpected ways – feeling uneasy in new social settings, struggling to trust others, or doubting ourselves in relationships. Even if we don’t consciously think about past bullying, our bodies remember, making us cautious and anxious in ways that can hold us back.
The good news is that healing is possible. Acknowledging how bullying has impacted your ability to trust and socialize is the first step. Take things slowly, practice self-compassion, and surround yourself with people who respect and value you for who you are. Friendships may take time to build, but you deserve supportive meaningful connections. Here are some helpful tips to move past bullying and cultivate strong friendships:
- Start with Self Compassion
Before diving into new friendships, take time to acknowledge how bullying has affected your self-esteem and social confidence. It’s okay if making friends feels difficult, your experiences were real, and healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself and how you navigate social situations, and remind yourself that you are worthy of kindness, respect, and meaningful connections.
💡 Further Reading: The Power of Self-Compassion
- Seek out Safe and Supportive Spaces
Finding the right environment can make it easier to connect with like-minded people who share your values and interests. Instead of forcing friendships in spaces that feel uncomfortable, focus on communities where kindness, respect and inclusion are prioritized. Consider joining clubs, hobby groups, or community organizations that align with your interests. Online communities can also provide a safe space for socializing without immediate pressure of in-person interactions. Surrounding yourself with people who share similar values can help you feel more at ease and open to new friendships.
- Take Small Steps Toward Socialization
If social situations feel intimidating, start with small, manageable interactions to build confidence such as one on one connections. An example could be engaging in casual conversations with coworkers, classmates, or acquaintances to help ease anxiety and develop social comfort.
- Be Selective With Friendships
Not everyone you meet will be a good friend, and that’s okay. After experiencing bullying, it’s essential to prioritize relationships that are built on trust, kindness, and mutual respect. Pay attention to how people make you feel; do they uplift and support you, or do they make you feel small and insecure? Healthy friendships should feel safe and energizing, not draining or stressful.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Support
If past bullying has made socializing feel challenging, then seeking support from a therapist can be helpful. Therapy can provide guidance on overcoming social anxiety, building confidence, and recognizing healthy relationship dynamics.
At Nourishing Balance, our therapists recognize how Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can help reframe negative thoughts about friendships and social interactions. You do not have to go through this alone, and we are here to support your journey. While past experiences with bullying may have shaped your social interactions, they do not define your future relationships.
📅 Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation today to start rebuilding trust and meaningful connections.
Reflection: Think of a past experience that shaped the way you approach relationships or social situations today. How have your thoughts or beliefs about yourself and others been influenced by that experience?
✏️ Journaling about your experiences can help you process emotions and gain clarity on your social needs.
